Welcome to episode 14 of the Whole Human Podcast. I love that so much. How'd that sound? That sounded great. . That was obviously not my voice, everybody. I am so excited for today's episode because it is the first episode in which we have a special guest, and today's special guest is very, very special to me because it's my life partner, my husband John, who you all know as Jay Jury.

I'm so excited to have you here, babe. I'm excited to be here, but I also live here, so , even more so excited to be here. Are you sure you're not nervous to be here? I mean, I bought these microphones. I'm not nervous at all. No. Yeah, I know. I guess that's true. I guess that's true. You are very, very used to being on a microphone, having your voice and recording things and all sorts of stuff like that.

I today wanted to talk about what it's like to. Have a partner and to create a partnership in which you support each other with your goals and how to create that in your life. Because that's a question I get all the time, and I do have some questions today that people submitted that they want John and I to talk about.

And I ask if John is nervous because I gave him no talking points. He has no idea the questions that were submitted or what we're gonna talk about . So let's get after it. All right. . So I don't have a script. I don't know what we're gonna talk about. So I guess before we begin, and before we get into the questions, people probably need to know some of the goals and the things that I don't know that we've worked on that are maybe the same or different to get a picture of what our life even looks like.

Do you think that that's important? Absolutely. Okay. Yeah, a hundred percent. Well, what are your thoughts? What are your first general thoughts about our goals and what we've been after in our life and how we've worked? to achieve them? Um, well, I think the, I think the biggest difference for me when it comes to goal setting, since, you know, we've kind of grown together, has really been goal setting isn't really just like a, a, a one goal and then you get after that one thing.

And I think my whole life growing up, I, I've always thought of goal setting, like I'm gonna, I don't know, I have this, maybe this goal to be the best basketball player I can be and achieve so, You know, by the end of the year, and that was the goal. I didn't really talk, think about anything else, but obviously as an adult and as, uh, a partner, I feel like the coolest thing, um, is the way we plan our life is truly goal setting in all facets of life.

So it's not one goal. It might be 10 goals and they're all one. One might be relationship. . One might be financial based, one might be based on our passions, one might be based on our careers. Right. So I think, um, you know, the more goals we set across each of the facets of our life, um, it just makes more reason for celebration.

Yes. Right. I love that. And more reason to, you know, just, just more things to keep each other accountable on. Um. anyways. I think that's a very different way of looking at it. Well, that brings actually a great question to me to even start this conversation is when we met, like you said, you're like, ah, I'd have like this general idea.

I wanna be great at something. And that's not how mind, mind works. It's like, oh, I wanna be great at something. So here are my 18 steps in the exact timeline and the exact events that are going to get me there. So coming together as two totally different approaches to goal setting are the things that we want in our life.

what was that like for you and how did you kind of, I guess, interpret or blend that or make that work for what we are now? Um, yeah. Well, one thing's for certain, we both wanna see each other happy. We both wanna see each other successful, whatever the goals might be. And I think if that's the foundation of your, you know, your partnership, , anything is possible when it comes to blending and finding the right way to, to help one another, get after things.

Um, so for me it's really just, it's, it's been pretty, I think the, the most challenging thing was more so just doing, uh, maybe pivoting the way I get after mine to make sure that we can also support yours. Mm-hmm. . Right? I think that's a big, I think that's a big thing. We can't a hundred percent just focus on ourselves.

That's not a partnership, right? Mm-hmm. compromises. Is, uh, is, is, is important and, and I want to be able to, you know, move out my plan for something because it can make way for you to be successful at something. And it's maybe your moment, maybe that's the, the day that has to be focused on you. Right? And that's okay.

And I think, uh, for, for us, as, as far as the, the many different goals that we do have, um, they, I think the way we plan. now naturally we plan them so that they can Mel together. Mm-hmm. and that we can support them. I don't think we really have any goals where it's like, if I go after a goal, I'm leaving you behind, right?

Mm-hmm. and vice versa. Mm-hmm. . So I think now it's become easy. It's second nature, but I would say at first, um, folks probably just, you know, have a, have a hard time understanding the compromise part of it. Mm-hmm. and how to really plan around that. But that just comes with time and practice. Yeah. And as long as your heart's there.

a hundred percent doable. Yeah, and I would say a very solid example of that, just for listeners to kind of understand what John is describing, is John, for people who. Maybe don't know us well or haven't been around our Instagrams or social platforms yet. He, um, makes music. He's a musician, he's an artist, and he'll have live performances or different projects they he's working on.

And that's . I am not a musical person, so that's something very far, very different from anything that I can take part in, but I can absolutely support. And when I first started running my business, there was one time where you were planning a show or something at the same time. I was launching a program and we were like, this was a planning error.

Mm-hmm. , because like kind of what John said, there are days when, you know, maybe I'm launching a program where now he's like, okay, I'm not gonna plan anything like music heavy or super heavy for his goals when I'm like in the trenches of mine because he's. Wants to be there for me mentally. And that's mostly what it is, , to encourage me and cheer for me and like hear me like work through doubting myself and things like that.

And then on the flip side, if John has a show or something that he's putting on, I need to be there to help set up or to plan things or anything that comes up to do that too. And I. Think that, you know, recognizing that that first time we're like, whoa, this is overwhelming for both of us to do something so heavy in our goals at the exact same time.

Doable but not as fun because like you said, it's a partnership. Yeah. And we want to both be able to be there for each other. That's why we're together. Mm-hmm. . And so kind of, I guess being planful and making sure on the calendar those things fall in different places has been really helpful. Yeah, definitely.

Do you think it was hard, cuz you, you're way more of a planful person than I am and I've obviously tried. Catch up, in life. , but you're just, you're O C D, you're extremely organized and I've always been like a go with the flow kind of person. So obviously that goal with the flow mentality and chasing a goal, , those, those sometimes are difficult to pair together.

So what was the transition like for you blending your planfulness and the goals you wanted to get after? With kind of the way that I moved? Mm-hmm. I will say, . The thing that's so important about life is understanding other people's perspectives. And even though I'm a certain way, I had to understand your perspective and very specifically, I think something that I've learned so much is the perspective and the way the mind of a creative works.

I'm a creative in a very different way. My creative abilities are, you know, like thought work and coursework and educating. Mm-hmm. whereas, Your creativity is so fluid and things come to you in such a different way, and experiencing that, seeing that and being around that really helped me to. , understand your comfort level with even being like, you know, actually I do wanna move this back three weeks because I have this idea that I wanna do it.

I'm like, what? Move it Three weeks. We had that planned on the calendar. I wrote it in pen. Um, but I think the more I've experienced that, the more I understand that, and I understand it on an emotional level because of that perspective. And I've also very specifically with. witnessed what? Pushing something back will do to what you are giving to people.

Mm-hmm. and what it will do to your goal because you are a perfectionist. You are very, very good at your craft. And I know that, let's say that you wanted to have a show. and you were gonna do it in one week, whatever the, the initial plan was, and you were like, you know what? If I could also add this to the show, the show without that addition would've been incredible.

But if we push it back three weeks, then it blows everybody's mind twice as much. And when I see that, that has helped me say, okay. I can learn to be more flexible. I understand emotionally, I understand. And the result, what that's going to do. And also it inspires me, and I know we've talked a lot about this year, a lot about this, this year, but to slow down and you know, I'm very action oriented.

I get an idea, I'm like, go done. Did it? Yeah. And seeing that has helped grow my own perspective. So it was hard. It was definitely hard at first. Because I am, I know, very efficient, but , I heard about it.

Uh, I love that. I love that question. So yeah, as you've gathered, I have my business. Um, John is a musician, he's an artist, so that's one of his big goals. John also has his career that he's been excelling in. That's another big goal. Um, we both have fitness goals on and off. I would say. I. and more rotational.

My fitness goals from John has helped me. Marathon, half Marathon, Spartan race, competitive body build, lose weight, get stronger. What else? Like every possible fitness goal I've done, therefore, I'm the greatest support my number one fan for sure. So some of the questions that have come come in, I've asked, you know, actually the most frequently asked question is, how do you support each other when you have different goals?

And so when I talk about things like Spartan racing, John never did that when I was a competitive bodybuilder. John never did that when I was marathon racing. John definitely did not do that. So what was that like for you? When we have different goals, to me it's easy. Elaborate. It, it's, it's, it's as easy as this.

I know how much your heart desires to run a marathon. I know how running a marathon makes you happy. I know how running in general makes you happy, right? And my goal in our life is to help you do the things that make you happy. Mm-hmm. , because it makes me happy. Like it makes me happy to see you feel so fulfilled.

It doesn't matter what the goal is. It's, it could be running, it could be racing a car. I don't know. I'm just making things. You never know what's gonna come down there. Never. I, I mean, you, you desired to, for those who don't know this, she wants to like become like a, , uh, professional sword fighter . I do like, like she, we've been watching Game of Thrones rewatching for like the fifth time, and every single time it's, I want to wheel the sword.

I do. Uh, wouldn't that be badass? Everybody? Yeah. Come to my IG and cheer me on for that. Yeah. Might just do it, but like, , I'm not gonna shoot. If that's something you really wanna do, of course I'm gonna, I'm gonna be there, I'm gonna be on the sidelines wearing Armor at the Sword Fighting Competition. Like it doesn't matter.

So it's a, it's really easy if that's, if that's, you know, again, going back to what is the foundation of your relationship based off of mm-hmm. . And obviously most people, if you love your partner, you wanna see them. . So it should come easy to support that. So I have no desire to run a marathon, but I have every desire to be cheering at the marathons.

Mm-hmm. , I think I really love that you said that because I feel like we get caught up in the schedules and the tasks and the to-dos and. You know, what you just spoke to is like, it's not about thinking, oh, I have to go stand in the cold and the rain because Kayla's running again. It's thinking, oh my God, Kayla's so happy right now.

Yeah. And, and that's a really big differentiation. It's just like when we talk about creating any goal in life, and we see this a lot in weight loss, and so if you've ever had a weight loss goal, you can, um, kind of use this as an example for your brain to grasp it. . When you have a weight loss goal, you're like, I wanna lose 15 pounds.

That's not actually your weight loss goal. And we've talked about that a lot on the podcast. Your actual goal is you want to be more confident when you go on dates or you wanna have more energy to roll around and play with your kids. That's your actual goal. And when you think about your why and your why, being deeper and being that emotional strong connection, it's weighed different than saying 15 pounds.

15 pounds is gonna get you up and on walks in the cold morning. Feeling more energetic or feeling sexy is like saying Kayla's running a race. And that's not even my goal. Isn't gonna get John to come stand out in the cold and watch me, but saying I want my wife to be so happy is, yeah. And I think that that's a really important distinction.

A hundred percent. So, but let's also talk about, a lot of people are thinking about like being caught in the weeds and things like that. So we've already talked a little bit about the schedule, but one thing that came up is this, when. , how do you re like, reach your nutrition goals when your nutrition goals are different?

That's a harder one. Why? That's a harder, it's harder because you just have to be, again, more, more diligent and planful and maybe aware. Um, and I think that's probably hard for a lot of people. Mm-hmm. , you know, being aware. The easiest example I can think of is if you. I don't know. A, a, a certain number of carbs that you're planning for the day and it's 6:00 PM on a Friday, which is my favorite day.

of the week, favorite time, weekends kicking off. I immediately, what do I wanna do? I want a cocktail, I want, I want to go out, have a drink, do whatever with friends. Right. That sometimes doesn't work for your goal. Mm-hmm. , right? So, um, I think. . The thing that most people probably struggle with is you just, you end up going and doing it anyway cuz your partner wants to do it and then you don't hit your goal and then you feel like shit.

Right? Mm-hmm. . And so I think the thing that you're really good at and I think we've become good at is, is planning. We know that's gonna happen Friday. We know we want to go out Friday. We know Friday's. John's favorite day, so . Cause I was like, we're probably gonna do something tonight, so I'll probably save.

carbs for later to have a drink later or whatever, right? Mm-hmm. . So I think it's just understanding what's important to, to both, cuz you can make them both work. Mm-hmm. like that example that we can make that work. Um, but I also think there are times where you, you do have to sacrifice. Um, and it's being willing to sacrifice.

And I do think like over the years, I've definitely had my fair share of challenges sacrificing mm-hmm. certain. , but I've learned when we both do it for each other then and, and you couple that with planning, then it becomes easy. Yeah. Then it's, then it's not even an issue. Yeah. And I would say, I think that what you are speaking to is what most people do, but there are so many options aside of, well, that's what my husband wants to do, so I'm gonna go do that.

There have been so many times where John and I have gone out and I haven't drank at all, and he has, and it's been. because the point of me going with him is not, I mean, sometimes, let's be honest, the point is to have cocktails and the point is to drink. Yeah. But sometimes the point is just to be together and to be with friends.

Totally. And that's fine too. Yeah. You don't have to par indulge. Right. You don't have to partake in the, yeah. In the, whether it's drinking or eating pizza, whatever it is, like just being there. Mm-hmm. , like you said, is I think the, oftentimes the thing that's most important, and I feel like most, um, most of the.

we were able to, uh, find that balance on a regular basis. So then it. We don't really even think about it. I feel like we don't even talk about this. We don't. We don't even think about it anymore. And I was actually just gonna bring that up cuz I think what's really helpful is to go way back like probably five years when this was harder for us.

And I think that's when it was the hardest, was probably when I was doing my body building. Cause I was a lot more serious about my nutrition on a different level than John was. And so I had less flexibility when I had a show coming up and stuff. And. . I think the thing to think about there, and this is, and I'm just gonna say this super bluntly for people listening, is I want you to check your.

When you have a goal that your partner doesn't have, because an error that I have made in the past is trying to put my goal on John, and that's not fair to him. And we do that so often because we want buy-in for our goal or we feel like that's support. But John can support my goal without having my goal as we've kind of been talking about.

And so if that exact example comes up and it's a Friday night and your partner wants to go out, but you don't have any calories left, on you to decide what to do, and your partner can still go out and have fun and you can stay home. You can go with your partner and you can decide to not eat anything outside of your plan and still have fun.

you can go with your partner and have it be a fun day and go quote unquote off your plan and still have fun. But it's up to you and you alone to make that choice. And you can talk to your partner about the choice. And I think it's really important to tell them, Hey, tonight, because I wanna stick to my goal and I still want you to have fun.

I'm gonna stay in, you go out, or I'm just gonna have, you know, X, Y, Z. When we go. , but I want you to still have fun. Just communicate what you want, but you have to know that it's ultimately your decision, decision and it's ultimately on you to get yourself to your result. And so a big thing that John and I used to do in the very beginning when I realized I need to not put this on him, but I need to be responsible for myself, is sometimes it was really hard to not have like the FOMO feeling.

And so John and I would come up with a phrase. That I would tell him, I was like, Hey, if you feel like I am giving up on my goal for like peer pressure or whatever, like if we're gonna go out and I'm like, oh, no, no, I am just gonna have X, Y, Z, even if it doesn't fit into my plan for body building. We had a phrase that he would ask me, and that phrase allowed me to pause.

and reflect and decide if that's the choice I really wanted to make or not to decide if it was gonna be a progress maintenance or fund day. And so those are ways that you can have your partner assist your goal, but you have to remember your partner's not responsible for your goal. Yeah. Yeah. A hundred percent.

A hundred percent. I think the more you communicate about it too, the more we communicated about it, it, it then becomes clear that like, hey, maybe, maybe this Friday. since we did go out last Friday and you didn't have a single drink or whatever, you know, this Friday, you know what, I wanna stay home and be able to like us to be able to just chill.

We'll just watch a movie, make some, I don't know, popcorn or something light. Mm-hmm. , you know, so then it makes it easy to have those type of like backup plans or other, just doing other things that fulfill the both of you. So, um, I think we. . I think we've figured it out. Yeah. And I will say another thing that comes up all the time, um, that is kind of off this question about nutrition is people say, well, we don't need to eat the same thing at every meal, but I want to eat the same thing at every meal.

And there's so many different ways to approach that as well. Like, for instance, John and I. , he, his protein needs are way higher than mine. And that will generally be what happens often in a female male relationship. And it's like we can eat the same thing. He could just double down on his protein. Right?

Or you know, and oftentimes John and I do eat the same amount of calories and meals, and that's fine too. Or you could eat two totally separate things and still sit together and enjoy each other's company. And it doesn't have to be the. That's okay too. But we get so caught up into, well, he likes tacos and I don't want a taco.

It's like not a big deal. Sit together. Still, the point of being with him is not to have tacos. The point of being with him is to be with him. Yeah. You ever heard of a. Taco salad,

There are ways, there are so many ways, but we get caught up in like the really small details. And I think it goes back to what John said of like, the whole point is happiness together. And the food on your plate doesn't always say that unless you're going on a special date. You guys know John and I are foodies.

Um, another question that came up was this one, how do you. not feel guilty when you put yourself first. Hmm. I think you gotta even take a step back and, and ask the, maybe the root of the question, why would, why do you feel guilty? Mm-hmm. . Mm-hmm. Right? Like, do you feel guilty because you always put yourself first.

Do you feel guilty because you're putting yourself first in a moment where you were. , right? There's a lot of like things that can maybe bring that guilt feeling on you, but if, I think the easiest way to avoid that is if you're always there for one another, then the other person understands when you need to put yourself first, right?

There's certain things, like for example, the easiest thing that I can think of is music for me. Mm-hmm. , we might be, might have a really busy, let's just take these last three weeks. These last three weeks, were super busy for. , and obviously you are busy. My work just kickstarted into just like chaos for like three weeks, right?

Mm-hmm. . So it was nonstop and I hadn't had an opportunity to even jump in the studio and make any music. And I wanted to take a day off just to make music. And normally when I take a day off, we plan to do something. We plan to, you know, spend the day together or go, you know, maybe, maybe on a date, whatever that might be.

But I think if I was to take that day off and not, you know, do the, do the date thing on that day, would I feel guilty for choosing to do music? Mm-hmm. . Um, and I think that because we have found time and we try, we've been trying to do better about this, but make sure we find time to spend time together when that day comes and I choose music.

You don't feel like I've, like, I don't care to spend the time with. And I think it's the, the, the things that are important to the both of us, we make sure one another is getting, I love listening to that. I think one of the things that really brought to mind for me is the reminder that guilt is a choice to feel you.

We anyone feels guilty based on a perspective that the other person feels a type of way. So in that example, of John taking a day off work, not spending it with me, but spending it doing music instead. He could feel guilty if he thinks I'm just in the other room pissed off or like fuming about why we're not together.

That would make you feel guilty, but you feel confident in the choice that I'm not and therefore you are not guilty because you know it's correct. guilty is a choice. And maybe part of that comes from, like you said, the clarity of, you know, I support you doing that. You know that I want you to do that. I mean, I know he needs to do that to be a happy, wonderful person.

So , and it just enriches, it enriches your life. And so that's really important to me. But listening to you, I think that was so great because yeah, guilt is something that we feel regardless of the actual facts of what the other person feels, but it's all, it's an assumption. . It is an assumption oftentimes.

Yeah. Yeah. That was really, really good. I think guilt without conversation. It's an assumption. Yeah. And it goes back to kind of what we said about, you know, how do you support each other when your journey is different, is that communication is key. Communication is absolutely key. And there are times where I will walk to genre and I will, I just be like, Hey, I have to ask you a clarifying question.

I feel a type of way because I'm doing this. I, I can't remember an exact scenario, but I've done this recently like three times, probably in the last six months where I'm. Are you hurt by this because I feel like you are. And he's like, no, never considered it. And I was like, I was putting that perspective on myself.

I was creating that guilt feeling on myself when John was like, yeah, not bothered at all. Keep on keeping on. I was like, okay. Oh, it was working late. I had worked until like seven o'clock one night and pushed back dinner and I was like, oh, I feel so guilty. I feel so bad that I'm doing this. John is probably so mad.

And I think a week later I asked you and you were just like, And I was like, oh, for a whole week I was upset about it, but if I would've just communicated it in the beginning, I wouldn't have had to feel those heavy feelings. Yeah. Yeah. Assumption. Mm-hmm. . Yeah, I do remember that. And it's, I think the, I wouldn't say funny, I don't know what the best word to say it before this, but what's interesting about that example right there is who is your number one supporter in this business?

Oh, yeah. You of course. Who is the one person who's willing to. post work to talk about this business. Like the one, like, so you, you know, you have like the most support mm-hmm. in and you still have those feelings that you put on yourself. And the same thing for me, like musically, there are definitely been times where I've felt guilty for spending five.

Cuz for those, if anybody who's a creative here, like it's hard sometimes to just spend an hour or two on, on the Oh yeah, no. Like I can't, I can't get in the studio if I'm only gonna get an hour. I don't even wanna be in there cuz I can't even tap in. really get in a groove. So I need a good five hours.

And, um, if I, if I can't get those five hours, then it's like, or I rather, I would say when I get those five hours, I can't feel guilty for it. Mm-hmm. . Right. And if I do feel guilty, then that's a feeling I'm probably putting on us because, you know, that I need, that's what I need if a music, if I'm doing music that day, that's what that means.

Yeah. So it's, it's uh, uh, an assumption that I would be. On yourself, on, on myself and on us. Yeah. And we just communicate and make the deal. You tuck me into bed and whatever you do your thing. Yeah. . Yep. Um, something else along that point, and this is something else that's really important to remember too, and I think just like having any partnership is when I'm thinking about this idea of putting the guilt on myself, it's, and why would I do that?

It's because I value our dinner time together and I don't, and that that's something that we've talked about where I'm like, I really wanna make sure that we have dinner together. I love that time with you. I love to sit with you and talk about our days. So when I make that not happen, I immediately believe that John feels like.

I would, but we have to again, remember and check yourself. My feelings are mine and his feelings are his. Just like, you know, if you're in a relationship of any sort, you've probably read into love languages and it's like how someone wants to be love and how someone delivers love is different. And we have to remember that we're each different too.

And again, not put my desires on John. And I think that's what often builds that guilt building for me is it's like, well, I, I, I wouldn't want to miss dinner. . But yeah. And I think that's slipping in front of happened. That happened a lot. Uh, something as simple as you like packing my lunch before I left.

Oh, yeah. . You know, like I remember when you, when you, uh, realized that that didn't necessarily whether you did that or not. . It was fine with me. And I remember that bothered you. You're, you're Cause oh, I was, was so upset. I was like, but I wanna take care of you. I wanna pack your lunch. Yeah. And for me it was like a, it's okay that you didn't do it.

It's cool. I'm, I gotta go. And I'm not faced by it at all. . And so I think, I think again, communication that's like, now I know when you do that, you're doing that because, , I love you. Yeah, I, well, yeah, of course you, that is always the case, but I don't feel any less loved, I guess. Yeah. Whether you do it or not.

Mm-hmm. , and you know that now for me. Mm-hmm. . So now you don't have to feel guilty when you're too busy to do something like that. Yeah. But then also when you do do that, I have to make sure. that I thank you for it. And it doesn't go unseen. Unseen. Mm-hmm. because of the effort that you're doing. So it's, again, it's all, it's all communication.

Yeah. And I think also what's really funny too is we're talking about just like all this relationship stuff is John is so easygoing and I have so many more thoughts, feelings, and opinions about everything. Yeah. You're complicated. It's complicated. I'm easiest. I definitely, definitely am. But that also reminds me of.

When I'm like, I love that you just cleaned the whole house, but will you just sit by me cuz I'm a quality time person? Yeah. That's so funny. Um, okay, I guess another question that came up we kind of already touched on, but how do we prioritize our relationship while running a business and running a small business where, you know, it's a small team, so I wear many, many hats.

It's me and my support wizard, Jen, um, is about it right now. And so I don't know. , how do we prioritize a relationship while running? It's this biz. It's pretty, it's pretty easy, honestly. Um, says the calm man. It says the calm guy. Yeah. No, it is , but it is, it's like we, it's, it's a, it's a job and whether, whether you're doing this or another job, you, you have to work mm-hmm.

And we find our time outside of the work hours or in between with lunch or. , we plan things for vacations or things to do on evenings or weekends. Those things are gonna happen regardless. Mm-hmm. . So it's, it's like, uh, as long as those things are important to us, I think we'll always find the time. And make the time.

I guess that's the thing. Don't find the time. We will make the time. Yeah. Because it's important. Of course. So like the days where you've had to work, . Oftentimes there's a mutual understanding that those are probably days that one of us will be working late. Yeah. You know, like if I've got a crazy evening or a week coming up, we, you know, that typically going into that week mm-hmm.

so there's an expectation set and then, you know, the, the days outside of that, we can prioritize us, um, a little bit easier. So mm-hmm. , I, I don't, I don't wanna. easy for everybody. But I do think for us it's become easy and well, and I think it goes back to, you know, a couple different things. One, running this business is so exciting.

Yeah. Like it's not something that I dread doing. John loves his job and what he does for work, he loves making music. And so we are excited about all of the goals and things that are part of our life. And that in itself, I think is the first part that makes it easy is we. , we want to do it. Yeah. And we like to do it.

And how many times have I come home from work and you've had all this full day of work and need to unload ideas and like throw Oh yeah. Throw paint at the wall to like see what sticks or problem solve or ideate mm-hmm. . And then we end up spending like another hour or two just on the business. Like it's, we're passionate about it, so it's, yeah.

It's, you know, and we're doing it together. Yeah. And, and I will say very much so. I feel like John is basical. an employee of Whole Human because for that exact reason, he's like my top consultant or, and or everything because he is such a big part and I do share it a lot with him. And so he is, like you just said, we do it together.

It's not like my separate thing on my own. I bring you in and ask you questions and talk to you about it. And maybe not everybody is that way with their business or, um, wants to be that way. And I, I think that's fine too. And I don't think that makes. so that you wouldn't be able to still prioritize your relationship.

Yeah, but I also think that it goes back to kind of what I was talking about, that whole guilt idea of putting guilt on myself. Um, there might be sometimes like, you know, I'm like, oh, Jen sent me something in Boxer. I want to answer this real quick. And we're supposed to be sitting down and having lunch, and I make it known and say out loud and John gets the opportunity to say, no, please don't.

Or yeah, go. And that's fine too. And I think I, that's something where again, I feel guilty on my own without John's input if I interrupt a mealtime. But the more practice with that, like they say, and I've learned that action brings clarity. And when we try it on and we see how it works, it turns out it's fine, or it turns out it doesn't work.

And if it doesn't work, you can learn how to enhance it and to figure it out. So I think that's a big piece, but it also goes back down. Communication as well. Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. , it's something else you also said though is, and I hate cliche terms, but work-life balance, right? I don't even believe in the word balance, but the idea that we don't allow ourselves to be consumed in our work all day, every day at all.

I take weekends off and John has weekends off and we hang out and we have fun and we do make sure to prioritize times cuz we do have a busy social life and we're doing stuff. So a lot of times I would say our biggest struggle would be not how do we run a business? Um, and how do we have our jobs and have time together, but it's how do we just carve out time for just us too?

Yeah. Because it's so often, like every night of the week, it's very possible that we have events to go to, or John's making music, or the other night I'm working late and then, you know, it's like, when do we have quality time? Just the two of us. But so I would say that. , prioritizing your business is just as much as having boundaries of not doing your business seven days a week if that's not what you want.

Mm-hmm. . Yeah. Yeah. The boundaries are really important. Mm-hmm. . Yeah. And I think we've gotten in a good cadence of setting that. Mm-hmm. . So now, now everything else just kind of like becomes a little easier to manage, um, whether it's the time together or the time with our friends or events or whatever that we go to, you.

you can't actually do all of those things successfully if you don't have the boundaries. Yeah. I think a lot of, a lot of people probably, if you, if you haven't successfully found a way to make those boundaries, you're, you're probably overly stressed right now. Mm-hmm. , you're not getting the things, uh, that fulfill you into your schedule or into your day mm-hmm.

and probably thinking, I just can't find the time. Hmm. It's not about finding the time, like we said earlier, right. It's about, but we know someone who can help you with that. Shout out, coach k . You gotta make the time, get you a, get you a life coach , and make the time, set the boundaries. Yeah. I think that that's really, really important.

Hmm. What else do you wanna add? Um, did you have fun having me on this podcast? Oh my goodness. This is so much. . I love this. I think we should do this all the time. Hit me in the dms if you agree. Yes. And I'll end with this. I am. So just, y'all have no idea how much, uh, I had to force Kayla to do certain things on this podcast because I'm so particular when it comes to, oh my goodness, sound and equipment or whatever.

And now she's just embraced it. , she's got a sure microphone. She's just in a pop filter. Oh. , you're a natural. Oh, thank you so much, . So yeah, thank you so much for being my sound. My sound guy. My sound man. So in summary, it sounds like what we have concluded with, in order to have a supportive partner, a supportive relationship, you need to do it for the real reason why, which is the other person's happiness and your combined happiness.

And you need to keep the communication lines open constantly. There's your two things. , go use it. Go share it with your partner. Make them listen to this episode. Is that the homework? That's the homework. That's the homework. That's the homework. That's the homework, and we'll see you on the next one.