Hello and welcome back to the Whole Human Podcast episode 12. If I'm super honest, this is episode 12, take two. Because the first time I somehow did not save or messed up the save in this, and I am a little bit disappointed because I am known to be one. Take Kayla. But this is gonna be a take two for you today.

But you know what that means? That I had time to rethink, to add, and make this episode even better than it was the first time. Right? This is an absolute opportunity. Today I wanna talk to you about something that is so important that. All of my clients use in the whole human community and that I use as well, and really is a core component of building the life, not just the health, but the life that you dream of and the life that you love.

So you all know the story of Goldilocks in the three Bears. Right little girl. Porridge, chairs, beds, some are too big, too little. Some are just right. The Goldilocks level is something that I've borrowed from this little girl in this childhood story, and I teach my clients to use it all the time in so many different scenarios, and it is imperative that we use it.

This is exactly like I said, how we make health that fits us and how we create our dream life because those things, Are so super subjective to you and what fits you. You are like cute little Goldie. She sat in a chair that was far too big. She sat in a chair that was far too small, neither was comfortable, and you have probably done this in your life before.

Maybe you have done. , the 1200 calorie diet that my fitness pal tells you. If you log in, or maybe you've done a 2000 calorie diet like you've seen on every food label as the average daily diet, and it's very possible that you didn't like either of them and that neither of them got you the results that you want and that neither of them were comfortable.

Maybe you went to college because that is what you are quote unquote supposed to do, but you didn't even end up using your. Maybe you go to parties to be social, quote unquote, because that's what everyone says that you should be. You should go be social, go meet people, but you really, really like staying at home and love and value your time to yourself.

So often we try to put on someone else's shoes, someone else's ideas, someone else's lifestyle, and someone else's goals, and it doesn't get us where we want to. , but that makes absolute sense because it's someone else's shoes, ideas, lifestyle and goals. It doesn't build us the life that we want to live, and we end up very uncomfortable and unsatisfied and unfulfilled.

If you were eating those 1200 calories because someone else said to, I'm sure you hated your life because nothing fits in that calorie range. Like you cannot have any fun. You cannot eat foods that you love in 1200 calories. I've been there. I've had less calories in my life. . And not only that, but it doesn't even nourish your body if you try to be social because your friends say you should.

You probably get more stress and anxiety in your life from trying to do it. You're probably exhausted, you feel drained. That's not part of your dream life. Exhausted, stressed, and, and drained is not part of your dream life. If you have ever found yourself saying something like, I feel like I should like this, but I don't, or I thought this would make me happier, but it doesn't, then it is so possible that you need to adjust your Goldilocks level.

So how do we do this? When we think back to the story, how did Goldilocks know what fit her? She tried on a bunch of different things. She gathered data, she tested it out, and she eventually ended up with a result that fit her. She basically was a little scientist of her own life, and this is the practice that the members of the whole human community use all of the time with me as their objective eye to guide them through it.

So let's go over some examples. A really common one I talk about with my clients. the idea and the example I gave of social life and social time versus self time and time being alone or one-on-one time with yourself, you are going out and being social so much that you find yourself saying things like, oh, I feel like I should like this, but I don't.

When you think in your mind, well, but I, I mean I do. I do like my friends. I do like seeing movies with people. I do like going to parties. It make me feel really confused. You're like, well, how come when I. Come home from hanging out with my friends, or how come when I go to parties? How come when I come back?

I feel those negative feelings. And that's because both of those things. can be true where you like being with your friends, but it also can create stress. That means that the time and the harmony are off. So this is where we have to be like Goldie, and we have to do the experiments and we have to do some tests.

So here is how we do that. If you were my client, and these are the things that you were saying, I would ask you some clarifying questions. What are your most favorite things? Out of those things that you just mentioned, going to the movies, going to parties, and just spending time with your friends. Which one is your top most favorite?

Right? So we're gonna align the things that we love from top to bottom to make sure that we're prioritizing the things we love the most. Maybe you're just going to a bunch of parties and you're not actually getting any alone time with your friends, right? That means your Goldilocks. Would be less parties.

And then we need to add more time with your friends. Once we have an idea of what we prefer, we need to look back and reflect and see what is your pattern. And this is where it really becomes a little bit of a science experiment. I can look back objectively and say, okay, in your last three check-ins, you wanna dancing every single Friday night.

You had brunch every single Saturday. You went to your parents' house every like Thursday and then every Wednesday night you had movie night with your girlfriend, so that's like four outta seven days of doing busy shit with lots of other people that are not yourselves. You also on Monday and Tuesday worked late and on Thursday was your only night to yourself.

So what that shows us is actual data, saying your time alone is very, very small. Your time with other people is really, really big. Then we start the experiment next week, let's cut out one of those days or shorten the hours with somebody else, or take away the event that is lowest on your like list and substitute it with time for you.

And then let's see how that. And then every week you check in on your experiment and you say, well, how did that go last week? Oh my goodness. It turns out that having Tuesday and Thursday night to myself was amazing. Or maybe Thursday night to yourself and a slow Sunday morning with coffee on your couch, just looking out the window with your plants listening to your favorite album.

Maybe that's what you need too, right? And. Then what we do is we start to see what are the patterns that make me feel the best. That is how we narrow in on your Goldilocks level. That is exactly how we find it. And then, you know, moving forward in your life. If you're looking at a week and you're seeing, oh my goodness, this week is getting booked out.

I have two birthdays. Why do all my friends have birthdays in the same month? I also have a work deadline, and I also have, um, another party for my family, a family reunion, right? So there's three things that you have to do that make it really social. And because of the work deadline, you have a team meeting, right?

So then you have all these social group events, you know, that's above your Goldilocks. Right. When you have that information and you know your pattern, then you're able to say what worked last time was taking extra time to yourself, so you're like, I'm gonna go late to the family reunion, that's totally fine, because I'm gonna do that slow Sunday morning thing.

That made me feel really good. And we start to adjust and you can plan ahead. So if you take this time to look back at your patterns, find what works for you, then when you plan ahead, you can stick to that boundary and stick to that standard of your Goldilocks level for those things in your life Now, The fun part about being human is that life changes, right?

Your environment shifts, your work demands change, your travel changes, and all of that. So over time, your Goldilocks level will also shift. There might be times in your life where you do want more alone time. There might be times in your life where you do want more social time. That's why we don't ever stop reflecting.

I call it reflecting back on your patterns to see how they're changing, and I call it pre reflecting, to plan ahead of time and predict what's going to be happening. Some other ways that we can kind of see this with our life and our environment changing is our Goldilocks level. Um, with other examples, I talk about it with a lot of my clients too, about what they put in their body, right?

We have Goldilocks levels for alcohol. What is the perfect amount that you can drink to get a buzz and get the good flavor and have a good time without being hungover the next day without having your digestion be off or whatever it is. And some very common ones that we find Goldilocks levels around are dairy, alcohol, and processed foods.

And I actually have one client who all three of those things. can really be a whirlwind for her and her body in terms of not making her body feel the best. So there are some weeks where she doesn't have to worry about anything and she, the only thing out of those three things that she has to worry about is maybe her dairy, right?

Because she does love to eat cheese, but she doesn't go out to the bars every weekend and she doesn't go out to eat like fast food or buy processed foods all the time. So when we are thinking about her Goldilocks level and she's only dealing with one of those components, let's. And let's use a number to kind of illustrate this.

So if she is on a level out of 10, let's say for dairy, her Goldilocks level is. Six, she can have a six outta 10 of amount of dairy in order to feel great in her digestive system to not get lethargic and um, to just feel really, really good in her body. If we are introducing something else, she needs to have a specific Goldilocks level around like, let's say alcohol.

Like she's gonna go out, go somewhere where she's gonna have wine, pasta with cream sauce. Then what we need to be thoughtful about. Adding that other stimulus and adjusting her Goldilocks level down. So her dairy when normally it could be a six, if she's adding in that other thing, we know that if she adds in that other stimulant, stimulant in terms of what stimulates her body to change in a way that feels not good or negative, is how I'm using the word stimulant there.

So when she has two stimuli that increase, that negative feeling, she has to. Both so that they add up to six. So then alcohol goes down to three and dairy goes down to three in order to get the outcome that she wants. So we can go from the Goldilocks level being a general tool that we prefect with to being really specific in exactly creating the outcome we wanna feel.

So the next morning her digestion is on point. She doesn't feel any sort of adverse effects to dairy, as if. normally just be completely fine. We can use it that scientifically to create the outcome we want. So the Goldilocks level is very variable and so helpful and so much fun. It is so important that we do this.

Your homework this week is I want you to think about one thing as I've talked about this, maybe one of the examples stands out to you maybe for you. Dairy is something that gives you stomach issues, right? And digestive issues. Let's use this strategy of finding your Goldilocks level for that specifically.

Maybe for you, it is your alone time or outgoing time that you need. Let's look back on your life. Find how much that you're getting. Try to identify a pattern. And then do a little science experiment with yourself. I want you to drop into my dms and tell me what are you going to be finding your Goldilocks level for?

What part of your life, what strategy, what skill are you gonna be applying this to? In order to get the most optimal results, part of knowing your dream life is knowing what you actually need to make yourself happy, and finding your patterns, editing and enhancing them with your Goldilocks level does just that.

It helps you know what you need to make your dream life happen, and to make your health fit you. I cannot wait to see you use it.